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September 26, 2010

HONEST BOY HERE
















Hi! My friends would say I'm nice, friendly, honest, and easy to get along with. I consider myself down to earth, respectful, loyal, and caring. I work as a teacher and enjoy what I do. Although at times it can be stressful and challenging. I enjoy going out and trying new places and new things. Looking for someone to share special moments with. I would like to meet someone who has similar values, someone honest, loyal, and fun. Not looking for drama, lies, nor games. Someone to start off as friends and go from there. Hope to hear from you :)

RE: HONEST BOY HERE

so you're from norwalk.  i really like that you enjoy what you do.  and that you enjoy trying new places and new things.  you seem simple, honest, and forthright.

sadly, at the age of 37, i find it bizarre that your favorite place is disneyland, your favorite things are blue, burgundy, and black, and that the last thing you read was a cereal box.   i didn’t know that colors counted as favorite things, that disneyland was superior to other continents, countries or even cities in the united states, or that cereal boxes actually had writing on them.  i fear you are looking for a slightly simpler girl.  perhaps one you might find in the cereal aisle at the grocery store.

best of luck.

LET'S PLAY SOME OF THOSE GAMES TOGETHER











Ever think about dating a guy a little older but just as young physically, mentally and emotionally as your preferences? Maybe you could. But, before you decide that I am too old for you or live too far from you, you really ought to check me out and get to know me first. I am a seasoned gentleman attorney who knows how to treat his partner/mate and I am looking to find that partner for life; to share everything there is to share and enjoy together; I truly believe that each partner should have some independent interests. So please check me out and get to know me before you make your decision.
Thanks for reading this and I hope to hear from you.

RE: LET'S PLAY SOME OF THOSE GAMES TOGETHER

no, i've never thought of dating a 58 year old man from mississippi. it just never crossed my mind. i don't know why... seems perfectly logical. but i never thought it up. i'd love to give that sort of "outside my age range of 34 - 39," "outside my 5 mile radius of west hollywood preference" a chance, but there are some things in your profile that lead me to believe our love just wouldn't work.

specifically: "wilderness, back packing/camping, enjoying the earth's treasures," well they don't float my boat. i'm not the outdoorsy type. i prefer hotels with room service and butlers, and would much rather enjoy tifanny's treasures than those of the earth. when you say "i love wraps" i can only imagine you mean the sandwich type and i really like hoagies. i prefer "sushi restaurants" to your self professed love of "sushi shops", as i don't like to make my own sushi.

as for your perfect match: she is active and exercises regularly, she believes in god, and she loves watching live or recorded sporting events... those are all things i don't understand. i never exercise, i sit on my couch and eat mcdonalds. god is a foreign concept to me - what is god, who is god, what has god ever done for me? jack shit. and sporting events? you're mad. i'm a girl. i watch keeping up with the kardashians.

why would you single me out of the hundreds of girls on match? i profess to love weekends at hotels, ordering room service and being lazy, as opposed to every other girl out there who claims to love nature and waking up at dawn to run on the beach.

move on brother. i'm sure there are plenty of older women in mississippi who love watching the river go by.

September 25, 2010

HOW WAS YOUR SUMMER
















Finally getting cooler in Texas.

RE: HOW WAS YOUR SUMMER?

do you live to be tortured? this is the sixth time you've written me, the first five with no response. do you think that a simple "how was your summer?" is going to win me over? you are 46 and live in texas. what kind of relationship do you fancy we will build? commuting between the two, or do you expect me to move to texas to join you in the lackluster life that you have to offer compared to the glitzy lifestyle to which i've grown accustomed.

now i'd just like to quote you for a moment as your profile is one of the more bizarre i've come across in my time on match:

"The crowd grew silent as I cautiously approached the front. The lights dimmed, checked the sound system - plenty of echo - check. I slowly wiped my brow while checking left and right. I hear the announcer saying something I do not understand. The screen in front of me lights up - instruments begin to bellow and words fly over the screen. It is time, time for karaoke in China. Not only time but natural instincts took over as though I were in the show and I sang... "

what is this supposed to tell me about you other than you've done karaoke (haven't we all) and have (supposedly) been to china.... it's weird the way you do your whole first person scenario in book like fashion to introduce yourself. i'd prefer you just say i've done karaoke in china, went to high school in michigan, lived briefly in california and am now texas. but if that's your life (as that is the condensed version of your profile) i find you a pretty lame and boring person. while you may have traveled to china, if all you got out of the trip was a chance to do karaoke? well that's sad.

you're way too old, live way too far away, and are way too insipid for my taste. stick to texas where you may find an older woman who is impressed with your tales of karaoke to fall for you.

September 23, 2010

THE IMAGE OF...

..ur puppies fighting opossums made me laugh out loud! haha! i really hope it never happens again and that you keep them away from one another but still... i think my cats would give ur puppies a good run for their money! omg. i amuse myself at least least.... and is it okay if ur boy wears a dress occasionally? peace, brett


RE: THE IMAGE OF...

did you really think you had to name yourself "one house" as if i'd think maybe you'd have two or three or maybe four houses?  or maybe just a condo or an apartment.  but no, i feel secure knowing that you have "one house," in la at that.  yay!  i'm glad you amuse yourself because you don't amuse me.  am i supposed to keep my dogs away from one another or my dogs away from the opossums or one dog away from one opossum at a time?  you confuse me with your terribly unclear grammar.  i also hate cats.  so drop the bit about "a run for their money."  not gonna happen, mr amuse yourself "least least."  and no it is not ok if "ur (are you so retarded that you can't spell your)" boy wears a dress occasionally.  i don't want to see you in tranny shoes from santee alley.  that is the ultimate turnoff, you 44 year old unable to read my age requirements weirdo.  go find a deadhead you can share peace, love and acid with.  regards.


September 22, 2010

HI HONEY:)


















HI, I live in the LA area(beverly hills). I am my own boss(own 3 businesses). would like to meet you. lets wine/dine and be NAUGHTY!!!!
xoxo
david


RE: HI HONEY:)

you are 44.  i'm just so tired of telling men they are too old.  can't you read: 34-39?  and you're probably lying about your age so 50 year old women don't hit you up.  

as for your profile:  you need good vibes to go forward in life?  i'm afraid when it comes to vibes all i can think of is the pontiac, and it was not only discontinued, but it had two recalls and was one hell of an ugly car.  if that's what you need to go forward in life i want no part of it.

cruise on.  perhaps you'll find love while broken down on the shoulder of the freeway. 


INTERESTED












Dear Mover, Obviously you're bright and sophisticated but, if I may be blunt, you seem to be something for everyone but nothing for anyone. All of your elaborate description is overwhelming if not confusing. I have an interest but please be more definitive.
Check me out if the interest is mutual.

RE: INTERESTED

1. you are 65. my age range states 34 - 39. why bother. i'm just going to shoot you down.
2. why would you have an interest if i am nothing for anyone? obviously i have nothing to give.
3. if i am overwhelming and confusing, you are stupid. go wink at a bunch of girls and find that lady who'd wink back at a bar.
4. you're 5' 7". enough said.
5. you like health food i like taco bell. non-starter.
6. you enjoy normal touchy feely adult pleasures. that's not normal. that's creepy to put in a profile.
7. you have a million dollar view of hollywood, does that mean you have a 500 square foot apartment in one of those lame buildings on hollywood blvd?
8. you are well connected with movie execs and agents. liar.
9. you claim you're a mature jazz guy. not mature enough to understand my profile. obviously you haven't read any of the philosophers: descartes, kierkegaard or nietzsche. if you had you'd have understood existentialism and my use thereof.

yawn.


WOW, YOU HAVE MY FULL ATTENTION

















I stumbled across your profile. I must confess I am just a bit Shocked that I haven't seen your profile before today. I have been on this site for about 3 weeks and have really had some interesting experiences already! Save me from this Site!! LOL I think you will find I am serious and sincere in my desire to meet someone regardless of type of relationship. I also noticed your nearby (Cal) as I live in San Francisco myself. Well I hope I hear from you soon!
Anxiously awaiting your reply
Jess

RE: WOW YOU HAVE MY FULL ATTENTION

nearby cal (san francisco, specifically hillsborough - WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT?) does not mean nearby. i precisely stated in my profile that i was interested in meeting someone within a 5 mile radius of west hollywood. i believe the distance between us to be approximately 400 miles. i have no intention of driving 6 hours to see you. nor do i want to board an airplane just to see your face. especially since your face is quite round and ugly. you state that you have california values which even more alienates me from having any interest in you (midwestern or east coast would've rung better in my ears). good luck finding that special lady. maybe she's in minnesota.

September 19, 2010

MARRY ME


















I like your profile :)) will you marry me

RE: MARRY ME

i'm so sorry. i forgot to take my profile down. it's been up forever. but i'm already engaged :(  otherwise i would totally marry you.  but write to me in a couple months.  you know how engagements go....

HEY GIRLI


















HEY GIRLI THINK YOU ARE VERY CUTE I WOULD LOVE TO MEET YOU I AM A BIT FAR SO IF YOUR NOT INTERESTED I UNDERSTAND OR I WOULD LIKE TO MEET YOU THERE OR YOU CAN COME HERE BUT I FEEL LIKE JUST ABOY THAT COULD MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE THE GIRL THAT YOU ARE .

RE: HEY GIRLI

why are you holding a giant fish?

i think i'll take a pass on that offer and i'll stay in los angeles and you can stay in yardville.

STUNNING




















i hope one day we get to know each other and have many good times...

RE: STUNNING

well, i just don't see that in our future.  the commute is a bit much for this fragile girl.  i'm sure you'll find someone closer to your age (48) with whom you can share many good times, in texas that is.




THE ULTIMATE POWER COUPLE













your wit is quick! do you live in a contradiction? Whats the next step for your travels? Personally, I seem to have a lot clutter, tasks, projects in front of me and Im grogggy today to perform, late night is culprit to my mood... how about you? I'm thinking about replacing some hinges in the master closet...I just dont like the gold ones anymore. I prefer bronze at this time.

EThan

RE: THE ULTIMATE POWER COUPLE

pewter. it's all about pewter. pewter is all the rage right now with the "it crowd." istanbul is next on my list. i really must make it there for istancool. i missed it last year and i can't believe that gore vidal and gareth pugh were there and i wasn't. i'm ashamed. i feel i can hardly show my face in certain circles. but this year i hear that salman rushdie will be the key note speaker and of course it will be air kisses and sashimi (i'm allergic to rice) all around. thank god it is tuesday otherwise my house would be ghastly. my housekeeper comes on tuesdays. what i would do without her i just don't know. she is a cleaning machine. i dare not lift a finger for fear of my dust allergies. anyhow. my mood has just been like a roller-coaster of late. if it weren't for naps i just don't know what i would do with myself. do pray tell, how are the hinges going?