A BIT ARROGANT - WRITE BACK

You are stunning.

A bit about me. Like most men in Los Angeles who have done rather well, I have dated the ex strippers who have gone on to pursue their real acting passion and the former Manhattan Beach housewives who are looking for new tennis partners.

I am done with that. I want something more honest. A beautiful woman I can spoil - whose affection I would enjoy.

It can be on any terms you wish. Just let me know.

My best,
Sam

RE: A BIT ARROGANT - WRITE BACK

sam....

thank you for the compliment. however i am surprised that you chose me as your first "post stripper / housewife" dating choice. i am so far from both that i think you would really be out of your comfort zone with me. i don't play tennis nor do i know what to do with a pole. i understand that you're looking for something more "honest," but c'mon, how honest can it be when the words "spoil," and "any terms" are involved. it really seems that you are looking for an ex-stripper who wants to be a tennis pro. besides, you're 47 and have been married twice. too old and too much baggage. i know this guy who does the laser hair removal for all of the strippers / ex strippers in los angeles. i can put you in touch and maybe he knows one who enjoys tennis?

best.

HELLO SWEETY!

hello sweety!

RE: HELLO SWEETY!

(Note to reader, his headline reads:  Disney is a great place for the Holidays, It heals the soul and fixes lonleyness!!!!!!  Note to reader:  Disney is even better when you’re on acid.)

While I’m enamored by your love of Disney (would that be the park, the hotel you work for, or just the costumed characters that give you hugs?), I wasn’t quite sure if you were saying "Hello Sweety" or "Hello Tweety" since you didn’t bother to write anything else.   As such I was forced to scrutinize your profile.   

At first I was thrown.  I thought maybe it was some sort of new guerrilla marketing effort to promote Disney (given the unparalleled number of references to… Disney).  But giving you the benefit of the doubt I thought perhaps you REALLY REALLY love your job (which is kind of weird).  Either way, I thought I’d let it slide.  But under things you do for fun you listed ebay.  While I AM a girl and DO enjoy shopping, even I don’t consider ebay an "activity".  Also under activities, “loving life and trying to enjoy every day” – well that really isn't an activity.  I’d think of it more like your “outlook on life” or “personal mantra.”  I should probably help you with the meaning of “personal mantra” given the number of spelling and grammatical errors in your profile, not to mention your general lack of use of the English language.

To many a mantra is a way of life.  It is the way that you live in order to bring all that you desire into your life.  It can be as simple as a daily personal ritual that helps you feel more successful and confident, for example saying: “go get em’ tiger” to yourself every morning in the bathroom mirror.  Or it can be as complex as opening and closing all the doors in your house two times, checking all of the light switches to make sure they’re off, re-checking the light switches to make sure they’re off, and then ritualistically opening and closing the front door six times before you leave the house.  It helps give you a feeling that you can face the day, not only going after your desires, but helping to achieve them. 

Enough schooling.  Back to your profile.

Favorite Hot Spots:  So if I decide to meet you I see we might go to West Covina for a "hot" time where we can talk.  Other options are…  "DISNEY" for an elegant meal.  I had a late night last night but I think my vision is still ok.  Disney for an elegant meal?  Really?  I mean seriously, I gave up on Prince Charming when I was 10, but even then I knew that Disney was not where I wanted to have dinner with him.  Even if you have a white horse to take me on, I don’t dine at Disney.  And sadly it looks like the "ESPN Sports Bar" is out of the question because it’s too pricey.  So West Covina?

I also see that you are a 43 year old “kid” that has a "kind heart and a body to match.”  I'm going to need a primer on the definition of a “kind body.”  I think my grandfather had a kind body but he was short and fat.  However he was very kind.

But here are the real meat and potatoes, and perhaps the reason fate meant to keep us apart:  your "I need comunication because is so important and will help us stay togather long time. I have love in my heart and would love to share," comment spoke volumes.  In what language, I’m not sure.  But you might want to work on communication in our language, as in English.   Have you heard of Berlitz?  Rosetta Stone?  Look at me, now I’m plugging companies like you with Disney.

I think you might be better off with someone who is, I don’t know, a psychiatrist?  I realize that I look very young, and given your unhealthy love of Disney, I’d hate to see you end up on Dateline…

…it is a small world after all.

REAL MEN NEED LOVE TOO

You need a "REAL MAN"...Maybe we can talk.

RE: REAL MEN NEED LOVE TOO

Hey… since I don’t know what a “REAL MAN” is I’m not sure I need one.  But I’m quite sure I don’t need you.  I perused your profile and what I saw simply stunned me.

To Start: “If your (it should be you’re) looking for a man just for money, I’m not your man.  In other words – no pros.  But if your (again, should be you’re) looking for a quality man with money – what woman wouldn’t - keep reading.”

First, I’m stunned that you would even put me into this category of “men with money.”  My profile speaks of existentialism and children’s games - a little brainy, a little silly, but in no way conveying the sense that I’m a gold-digger.  And the fact that I’m looking for “an over romanticized underdog bad boy adored in most of your hit Hollywood movies but never quite embraced as such in real life,” well somehow I don’t see gold-digger in that either.  But since you obviously thought I was a gold-digger, I’ll pretend I am and move on…

Re the first couple sentences in your profile, you are basically saying that if a girl simply wants a man with money she should go away, but if she wants a “quality” man with money – well you’re ripe for the pickin’.  What sense does that make?  What girl would choose non-quality over quality?  You’re stupid for writing that because you’re basically inviting every girl who wants to live the “Glamorous Life” to contact you.  And isn’t that about 80% of the women on sites like this? 

On this note I must point out to that 80% - how glamorous will their lives really be?  You live in Kentucky.  As I grew up across the river, I know when I say that “there ain’t no glamor in Kentucky,” I speak god’s honest truth. Oh, unless you count going to “La Boom” in order to do some colored test tube shots glamorous. (Note to reader: “La Boom” is a nightclub whose name should say it all; but if you’re not convinced, yes they actually serve shots in test tubes).  That’s not glamor, that’s ghetto.

Next you say that you’re “happy, healthy, smart, clean, good-looking and have a nice bod.”  Good to know you’re clean; wouldn’t want any dirty birds vying for my attention.  But nice bod?  Since when does the “average to overweight” category qualify as nice bod?  I think you need to go to the gym for a reality check so you can see what a nice bod really is. 

You should also calculate your ideal weight and BMI.  Since you probably won’t do this for yourself, I took the liberty doing it for you.  For a medium frame man who is 6’ 2” your weight should be 168 – 189lb.  My guess is that you’re pushing about 230lb, and I’m a genuinely good judge of these things.  I also calculated your BMI and at your height and my eagle-eyed guess of your weight, you are obese.  Your BMI is 31% and obese starts at 30%.  Wow, what a fantasy you live.

But finally, the most disturbing, disgusting, disconcerting part of your profile reads as such: “I enjoy touching, sensual teasing, intense kissing, caressing, intrigue, and fascination.”

What is this, a little vulgarity thrown in the mix to make up for the fact that you’re fat and live in Kentucky? 

Perhaps I do need a “REAL MAN”, but that’s certainly not you.  From what I can guess about “REAL MEN,” they’re not fat and living in the ghetto of the country advertising their sexual desires online.  Go back to La Boom, do some of those shots and maybe a “pro” won’t look so bad after all.

HIYA!

Hi there, so...I was reading an article today in a magazine and it was about meeting women and how striking up a conversation that may lead to a date, Well I think it was mostly BS but the first thing they said is you have to say hi to break the ice, so.... Hi Again! my name is Mike how are you? how is your day going so far? 

I know you have the pick of the crop on this site with a smile as beautiful as yours, So I hope to hear back from you

Till Then
Mike

RE: HIYA!

Hiya to you too Mike.  Who the hell says Hiya?!

Why do you call yourself Joey?  Doesn’t really matter, I was bothered more by your first sentence and how it just left me hanging than your name. “…that may lead to a date,” and then you just start another thought?  Totally annoying. 

My day has been great.  Lots of work – I’d say about 22 free online poker tourneys. And thank you for the compliment on my smile.  One may think one would have the pick of the crop, but when the crop is dead there’s not much left to pick.

So I read your profile and it seems you’ve read the book “The Secret” (which both Dave Chappelle and I despise). 

“Picture your life exactly the way you want it and then ask yourself. Am I doing the things that will take me there?”  Btw, that shouldn’t be two sentences.

Well I’ll just counter with Chappelle’s words, “what’s wrong with the children in Africa who haven’t eaten in five days?  They just need to visualize some roast beef with mashed potatoes and gravy!”  Right.

I’m glad to hear of your accomplishments in the military, law enforcement, and finally starting a business in your one bedroom apartment.  Hopefully visualization will turn that into a mansion with 100 employees.  And as for the “one thing missing, someone who understands the finer things in life,” well perhaps you can visualize her in your mansion too and she’ll magically appear.

Unfortunately I don’t think our relationship is meant to be.  Since you’re done playing games I’m certain we won’t get along.  Playing Candyland, Chutes & Ladders, Connect Four, Sorry, Yahtzee and Old Maid are my favorite pastimes. 

Good luck in la-la land. 

L'ETRANGER

Yes, "partner in crime" pops up a lot. One of the drawbacks, at least for me, of this online dating thing is that it's like reading a menu of items that all sound the same -- with a handful of exceptions Your profile is definitely one of them. Hmm: the existential life. I suppose we all live existential lives to some extent, maybe more so when we're single. On a more superficial note, do you get the "Audrey Hepburn" thing a lot? I imagine that you might, and I mean that in the best way.

Michael

RE: L'ETRANGER

dear michael.  your e-mail was genuinely sweet, and the reference to audrey hepburn made me smile.  i did get it a fair amount, but now that i have longer bangs i don't get it quite as much. 

i'd just like to say in the nicest way possible that 46 is a little old for me.  i'm really looking for someone closer to my age to date and with whom to start a family.   also, i'm looking for someone a little closer to los angeles who doesn't have "rasta" in their moniker.  the spiritual use of cannabis, the rejection of western society, the dreadlocks that are associated with a celestial journey... those just aren't things i really understand.  additionally, your self proclaimed alias as "macho nerd" is a little off putting.  i'm not really looking for a "macho" anything.  it's not on my list of dream qualities in a man.

but i would like to repeat, your e-mail was very sweet and endearing, and were those other things not in your profile i would likely respond more positively.  i really hope you find that person you are looking for.

ire.

YOU ARE A CHAMELION

You look wholesome in one pic
and sensuous in another.  Very compelling.
Where in CA are you located?

ARE YOU IN THE BAY AREA

Please write back. Brent  

RE: ARE YOU IN THE BAY AREA

no.

RE: RE: ARE YOU IN THE BAY AREA

Any chance we can meet?

RE: RE: RE: ARE YOU IN THE BAY AREA

3rd e-mail and you haven't gotten the hint.  no, there' no chance we'll meet.  you're looking for a "special friend" in new york (why the bay area matters i'm not sure), and i'm looking for a relationship in west hollywood.  i don't want to commute to new york, nor do i really know what a "special friend" is, but it sounds like something i don't want to be.  try checking out the singles ads in the back of the newspaper.

PINK FLOYD, RAMMSTEIN, AND COMPLICATING YOUR LIFE

Hi

I saw your profile and I thought I would introduce myself, and maybe complicate your existential life :-)
My name is Rudy, what's yours?
I consider myself laid back, too laid back to make a decent profile, so here are some things about me. I get startled easy, I really like Pink Floyd, but also Rammstein, my cat's name is Chairman Meow, I like chess, am a chemist, can't dance, was born in Europe, my phone doesn't have a camera, I like foreign movies, playing Wii Tennis, John Stewart, trivia.
Worst comes to worst - I am a Boy.
rudy

RE: PINK FLOYD, RAMMSTEIN, AND COMPLICATING YOUR LIFE

hi rudy from monrovia.  i find it strange that you're looking for love in a place like match but can't be bothered to write a profile.  oh, i forgot, you said that you're "a nice guy looking for a nice girl to start a serious relationship with."  (dangling sentence, with whom to start a serious relationship.)  i mean c'mon, that's a total loser move.  who writes nothing?  at least make something up.  something funny.  something dumb.  something that tells me more than you're the most boring guy in the world.  ok, so you wrote a couple things in your message: you're a chemist who gets startled easily and likes john stewart.  and?  is that why we'd get along?  well it doesn't really matter because i would probably hate you anyway as i am biased by the fact that you live in monrovia.  i would have to commute an hour and a half to see you (i don't drive) in a city where, call me elitist, but 75% of the population didn't attend college and 25% of the population didn't finish high school.  why would i drive all that way when i can stay in cozy west hollywood with 53.2% of my educated brethren who did graduate from college?  oh, and i hate pink floyd, rammstein, cats, and divorcees.  it just wouldn't work out.

HI

I love how open and honest you are.  And I also love that you embrace the little girl in you.  I would love to learn more and hear from you...:-)

xoxo.
Keith

RE: HI

hi keith.  thank you for the compliments.  unfortunately divorced at 36 with 3 kids who live at home with you is a bit more than i can handle.  well really it's more than that, it's that as you said in your "full disclosure" statement, you're not "really" divorced but you're working on it.....  i find it very hard to justify the fact that you're already on match looking for a new mate when you're not even finished with your old one.  wow.  and the fact that you're wearing an affliction shirt in your photo doesn't help the matter.  i think the only brand i hate more than ed hardy is affliction.  then tapout.  but affliction is worse.  i think you might want to wait till your divorce is complete in order to start dating.  or just put an offer out there saying "sugardaddy up for relationship with pretty much anyone."

i so wish you luck and hope you don't get taken to the cleaners.  that really wouldn't help your sugardaddy status.

GLAD TO SEE YOU'VE GOT LOW EXPECTATIONS

(message unnecessary, read profile below)

Well, let me start by laying all my cards on the table. I live at home with my mom and stepdad (BIG UPS KATH AND TIM), I'm a parking lot attendent, and I've never had a GF. My parents and friend say it's because I'm obsessed with the Oakland/LA RAIDERS!!! How obsessed? I have a 2 car garage sized storage locker full of RAIDERS!!! memorabilia. Unofficially it's the largest RAIDERS!!! gear collection south of Santa Barbara (Yeah Ted I recognized, but your old and fading fast. I'll be all over that estate sale). I'm also President of the Society for the Enshrinement of Ken "The Snake" Stabler in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. It's currently the largest such organization. (Yo, what up Canton? Kid got a 100 wins in 153 games. That's faster than Johnny U. Only Montana and Brady have done it quicker. Yet, Elway gets in? Sure he's got two rings but thats because he had Terrell Davis (BIG UPS T. D. You were a RAIDERS!!! killer but you had class, not like Elway). The woman I'm looking for doesn't have to be a RAIDERETTE!!! but she can't root for the chiefs, broncos, or chargers. Also she can't root for any team in the NFC east or the steelers, or the packers. She must be able to recognize injustice and be willing to fight against it no matter what the blogosphere says. Of paramount importance my lady must, at all times, even when no one is looking, be committed to excellence. Please don't respond if you just want to see my collection. I would only show it after the third date anyway because it's out in Downey and I don't want to waste gas.

RE: GLAD TO SEE YOU'VE GOT LOW EXPECTATIONS

i hope your profile is a joke?

FROM A BOY

i'm a boy and gainfully employed.
i hope there are people out there
who are not ungainfully employed.
they pay back money or every hour worked!

RE: FROM A BOY

OKAY, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT CRAZY PICTURE?  this is definitely the only communication you will ever get from me.  it is possibly the creepiest photo i've ever seen on this site, and i've seen men with guns, chippendale dancers, i mean i've seen a lot.... but your picture takes the cake.  you are a full blown freak.

now i have to point out that in your use of "i hope there are people out there who are not ungainfully employed" you have used a double negative, basically saying that you hope there are people out there who are gainfully employed which makes the rest of your sentence, which didn't make sense in the first place, make no sense.  i'm not quite sure how you graduated from college and became a forensic accountant without learning simple grammar principles.

re the rest of your profile, i'm not really interested in someone whose dream job is to be a hip-hop dancer.  it makes me think of those old has beens who live in fantasy worlds and spend their evenings pretending to be in some up-an-coming boy bands which suck and never amount to anything.

i'm also concerned that it took you over a year to read your last book.  that's quite a long time.

maybe go to some hip-hop clubs, show off your "skillz," and don't mention the reading thing.  might be a better way to find a girl.  :) 

FRIENDS

So not even as friends?

RE: FRIENDS

To Reader.... re the last message: this was a trick e-mail. He never e-mailed me before and I never responded. He was trying to get a response from me, but he won't get one. I'm smarter than that. Hee hee.

DAMIEN TO JACK

Forgive the intrusion from a stranger, but I couldn't resist. You seem great. You're funny, smart, and attractive. What's the catch? You seem comfortable in your own skin, and few things are as enticing as confidence.

There's only so much one can learn about a person by reading their profile, so I'd like to get in touch with you to learn more about you. How has 2010 been treating you? Can you believe that it's already October? Do you have any Halloween costume ideas yet?

2810 has been a great year for me so far. I've been to Europe twice, my small business feels more like a business than a job, and I have a new puppy. I don't have any costume ideas yet. I'm not very good at Halloween.

As for me, I am an LA native, I live at the beach, and I run a small business. I love my life and my job. I adore my dogs Destro and Arrow. I like early classes a t the gy m, but my night owl tendencies conflict with my early bird alarm clock. I also love to travel and am a serious shutterbug - I've got tons of photos of my puppies, my travels, and my friends and family on my homepage and facebook if you're interested in seeing more. ( pics.rdamienclark.com or facebook.com/rdamienc )

Let me know what you think about getting in touch. You seem awesome and I'd love to meet you.

Damien

RE: DAMIEN TO JACK

Dear Damien.

While 2010 has been good for me, I find it fascinating that you live in the year 2810. Tell me all about the future? What’s it like 800 years from now? Do humans still exist or did we all die off because of global warming and you’re the sole survivor…. And it’s, well, good that your business feels like a business as, well, I don’t know what else it would feel like. Perhaps a romp through Six Flags?

So I looked at your match profile. I found it strange that you had one picture of yourself and the rest were pictures of other people. Friends perhaps? Showing off your “LA Native” acquaintances? Truly bizarre. And since you wrote nothing about yourself in your profile, I did what you suggested and went to your facebook page. Oh no no no.

First of all, you have 1700 friends. People who are “friend collectors” are desperate in my book. They are show offs. They need attention. And quite frankly they don’t measure up in the friend department as everyone is an acquaintance and no one is a friend.

Second, we have two friends in common, both of whom I HAD to add and both of whom I can’t stand. I’d like to unfriend them but they’re the type of people who would notice. Perhaps you “collected” them, but they are yours nonetheless and I can only judge you by what we have in common and if it’s those two people, yuck.

Third, your profile is public. Who has a public profile? And why would you want the world to know your business? That’s creepy.

Fourth, you have written 42 notes. While 13 of them are simply recipes for cocktails (including the Japanese Slipper, the Bronx, and the Bacon Cocktail), one of the notes particularly disturbs me. It is entitled “How to Reach Me, a Manual” and reads:

The best ways to reach me, in order of reliability and expedience:

1) Cell
2) Email
3) Text Message
4) Instant Message
5) Social Networking Message

I think most people can figure that sort of thing out. Perhaps you’re giving your 1700 friends too little credit?

Fifth, you have a link to “Somebody’s Getting Married – The Muppets Take Manhattan.” Need I say more?

So all in, I don’t think I’d like to get in touch with you. I don’t think there’s a meeting in our future.

Best Regards.

LOOKING FOR BFF

I would like to introduce myself to you and hope you are interested in a truly good man that has the most respectful intentions of finding a good friend and possible BFF, as well as woman to share the good things in life with.

I hope to hear from you and see if we have the same things in mind.

Sincerely

Gregory

PLEASE TRAVEL WITH ME

How are you?  I was wondering if you would like to take a trip with me to Pebble Beach in November.

Gregory

RE: PLEASE TRAVEL WITH ME

hi gregory.  so you sent me two messages.  i thought maybe if i didn't respond to the first one that maybe you would get the hint that i wasn't interested.  but alas, it didn't work.  you felt compelled to write to me again.  and you upped the ante no less.  you invited me on a trip with you to pebble beach!  now why on earth would i want to go on a trip with you, a complete stranger, somewhere i would be completely stranded, without help or any way to escape from you, alone in your hotel room where you could do god knows what... no, i don't want to go to pebble beach with you in november.  nor do i want to be your "bff."  i encourage you to look for a more, shall we say "adventurous, model / escort" type girl to accompany you on your trip.

kisses.

PRETTY PRETTY GIRL

Sooooo pretty      wish you were mine.

RE: PRETTY PRETTY GIRL

since you were so verbose with me, i'll try to do the same in return...  lemme just try to break some things down for ya', starting with your profile:

"I'm Catholic and give thanks to the one God who has Showered me with his Mercy and shared His Blessings that i may live a simple yet Happy life ..  Honestly speaking I don't know if i deserve to be with another woman ..I have Been bad in relationships and as a result ended up in breaking too many Ladies heart ..  But what I'm looking for ... I don't mind spending the rest of what remaining years i have on Planet Earth with someone who would love me more than herself .. Knows how to manage our finances .. listens more and talks less .. and if she owns her own Liquor Store that's a Plus !! I dont get to go around too much as am asleep most of my free time ... and I never got to finish reading a book .. Ever !"

so you're catholic?  enough said.  you have been in bad relationships where you've broken many hearts, and as such may not deserve to be with another woman?  why would i ever, in a million years, have any interest in dating a guy who is a self-professed ass?

that aside, i'd like to discuss what you're looking for:  someone who loves you more than herself?  ummm... can i say selfish? you have to be able to love yourself before you can love someone else, stupido.  and you want her to manage your finances?  what is she, your secretary?  and she needs to listen more than talk?  i take it you like the sound of your own voice...  and owning a liquor store.  well, that just points to a love of alcohol that is probably unmanageable, borderline alcoholic.  

and about you, you sleep in your spare time, so basically you have no time to commit to a relationship and you've never read a book.  you really sound like a winner: you're a catholic man who ruins relationships, is selfish in his needs, might be an alcoholic, sleeps constantly, and can't read.  will you marry me?  not.

i am soooooo pretty, aren't i?  well keep wishing.  ain't gonna happen in this lifetime.  maybe god will bless you in the next.

PLEASE WRITE BACK

I like your profile and enthusiasm. Since I am new to the online dating experience, it is intriguing and pleasant to find someone like you on line :-)

Let me start with something about me - I am very easy going person with strong family values and life balance between work and pleasure/fun. Since I work in the office, I love spending time outdoors and doing about anything outside sounds good to me – to me it is always a question with whom not where – in short, I am looking for a good company, friend, or soul mate.

I would like to learn more about you – where do you work? how do you spend your weekends and evenings?, what are your hobbies?

If you are interested please write back :-)

Richard

RE: PLEASE WRITE BACK

you would hate me. i smoke, never exercise, despise the outdoors, can't stand cats, subsist on fast food and watch a ton of tv. and i'm not lying. total truth. oh, and i don't drive which is why i said i was looking for someone within a 5 mile radius (which technically you probably are) but 5 miles is the least they would let me put and really i'm looking for someone who lives between mulholland and wilshire, la cienega and i guess i'd go as far as highland (though i'd prefer to say la brea). really, i can't stand driving and haven't been past beverly hills in god knows how long. i'd look elsewhere if i were you.

good luck.

HI THERE

Hi there. Your profile is quite interesting, and we share a mutual love for traveling and various games. (Brickbreaker is also one of my guilty pleasures.)

You certainly don't seem interested in one liners or typical LA "fakery" - that's not my style at all.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not a stalker. I found this article about you very interesting: http://www.blue----.com/2----/08/----

It sounds like you provide a great service, and more importantly have fun doing so! I thoroughly believe in loving what you do.

Happy Hunting,
Roger

PS: I'm sure you're proud of your business, but a simple search rendered your name, business number, and email. Some people around here can be "creepy", so this is just some friendly advice. Here's what I'm talking about:

J---- H-----
J---- B----
141 S---- K----- R----
Los Angeles, CA 9-----
US
Phone: 323--------

Your secret's safe with me! ;)

RE: HI THERE

Oh so glad that my secret’s safe with you, and the 30 million other readers of articles in which I’m mentioned in magazines that are mass dropped at any of the random hotels, business lobbies, hair salons, restaurants etc. How can I be private if I'm a public figure? Anyone who reads one of those articles is going to know how to track me as far as you did. To my place of business. Whatever. It’s not like you found any private information. Like my cell, home address, e-mail even. But I'm oh so proud of you for figuring out what you did, genius. And for your worries about my protection. And for telling me my own address as if I didn't know it.

I would've just told you Pasadena is too much of a commute for me to be interested in you, instead I'll tell you to fuck off.

Kisses.

(oh yeah, I forgot, you got my name wrong, oops)

HEY STRANGER

Just logged onto the site again after burying head in the new business and there you are! I was actually in California the other week and think I left you a message .

We Brits are a bit old fashioned and conscious re- manners , so I'm so sorry we have'nt met up for that dinner . I love travelling and love meeting new people , but the new business has been flourishing - we start exporting to the US next year , and I've been selling the house in Scotland ready for the great California move - can't wait ! I'm about two weeks every month in the US in the meantime .

Hows you? My pal Amanda Wakeley is up to her eyeballs in work so recession can't be hurting fashion too much ! Jet lagged and laid up with tendon injury at the moment , so I can't run and housebound for a week ......aaargh I should be locked up - whoever watches day time TV should'nt get the vote ! Still computer backgammon - yay British Airways have backgammon on the in flight system ! You're the only person I knw who'd love to play Gin Rummy on an aeroplane !

You can tell I'm bored and house-bound , so hope the epistle does'nt prompt you to stack furniture against the door and head for the distant horizon ! Forgive for not having taken you out for that dinner yet - I'm a man of my word and I look forward to it ....just been so much on , so I apologise , but much more frree time now .
Hope all well and do tell all your news Gorgeous ,
Con angelitos et tu lado,
Ken x

RE: HEY STRANGER

YOU ARE A CRAZY LUNATIC! YOU THINK YOU LEFT ME A MESSAGE LAST WEEK??? YOU LEFT ME FOUR OF THEM! WHO ARE YOU THAT AFTER A YEAR AND A HALF OF NO RETURN PHONE CALLS, WAIT, BETTER YET, ME NEVER ANSWERING YOUR CALLS BECAUSE I SEE IT'S YOU ON CALLER ID, THAT YOU DON'T GET THE MESSAGE? GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!! THERE, DO YOU GET IT? IT SHOULD BE LOUD AND CLEAR........

LET'S MAKE A GREAT TEAM

Hi,
I enjoyed reading your profile. I am originally from Istanbul, Turkey. I am in Boston, MA for a construction project now. I am an easygoing, caring, and a friendly person. I believe everything can be fun as long as you are with the right person. I am looking for someone who can company me to business diners, invitations, fundraisers, and all types of social events. Due to my job, I frequently travel to overseas europe, japan, and dubai. If you enjoy travelling we can make a great team together.
Bottom line is I am looking for someone who can take care of me and I will take care of her.
If you are interested please drop me a line.
Thanks,
Emir

RE: LET'S MAKE A GREAT TEAM

why do you keep writing me pretending like it's the first time you've written? it's so so old. this is the last time i'm going to respond. very simple. you live in frickin' masachusetts dummy. that's across the country from me. while i would love to go to dubai, i'm not going to start a cross-country relationship with you just so i can get there. move on and stalk someone in your own neighborhood.

HI FROM RICH

Hi

I enjoyed your profile and you seem like someone that I would like to meet.

I invite you to review my profile; and if there is an interest, drop me a line

I'm located in Newport Beach and spend some time in the Desert as well as San
Francisco. Where are you situated ?


Best thoughts XO

RE: HI FROM RICH

rich.  i did what you invited me to do.  you freak me out.  you're 65.  and you teach the concepts of the book "the secret."  i gotta go with dave chappelle on this one:

This girl I knew sent me a book. Called the “Secret”. She was like, listen David, this is gonna help you. It’s called the “Secret”, you know. I started reading the book and I read like 5 pages and shit and threw it in the trash. I was fuckin – I can’t believe they sell this shit. Do you know this bitch says the secret of life is? She said it was positive imagery! You gotta visualize things you wanna have, happening in your life, bitch that’s the secret of life to you.  Its’ gotta mean more than that! Positive imagery, bitch fly to Africa and tell one of them starving children that shit. What’s wrong with you children? You have not eaten in 5 days. What you need to do is visualize some roast beef, mash potatoes with some gravy. Oh, please bitch, your killing me, stop talking about that! No, no, no! The problem is that you have a bad attitude about starving to death.

i'm visualizing you reading this feeling like the pathetic fool that you are.  oh, look - it worked!

NICE PROFILE

Hi there....I like your profile and bet I can beat you in backgammon lol

I live in Toronto but spend quite a bit of time on the west coast for work, and am in fact here now. Whereabouts in Cali do you live?

Have a great day

David

RE: NICE PROFILE

hi david.  it's nice to meet you.  i read your profile and am mildly disturbed.  it might be the fact that you said you don't "need this site to meet women but think it might be interesting."  or it could just be the picture of you greased and tan with bulging muscles wearing your chippendale's outfit holding your hands at your crotch as if you're about to... well i'm not sure what you're about to do.  i think that's it.  well, for whatever it's worth, it doesn't really matter because you might come out here a lot for business, but you live in toronto.  that's a no no in my book.  i don't like toronto.  i got strep throat there once and had to go to the hospital and the doctor wore a clown's nose.  i felt he didn't take his job very seriously.  it left a bad taste in my mouth for the city.

on an up note, i hope the site holds your interest while you date all the women who throw themselves at you at the club.

best always.