I LOVE SHORT WOMEN

hi, so how was ur day ?? hope it was good and u joined this nice wither today , its cold but its nice too . I was reading read your profile and i took a look at your pics am really interested to know u more Plus am attracted to ur height which i love short women its really amazing , when she is tired she is not heavy just put her on my shoulder and walk forward , and if she start yelling at me in the street am gonna grab her and put her on my shoulder and walk.,plus we really can do alot of things together , we can cook together , i really love to cook , and why not to go and explore some new areas or some new restaurants together ? or go to play in the GYM together , or discover the sky by skydiving ;) would like to meet u if there is any chance .look forward to hear from u seriously am really interested Moe

RE: I LOVE SHORT WOMEN

Hi Moe. :)

I thought my day was fantastic. But then I got your e-mail and everything turned to rainbows and kittycats. I am really interested to know u more too. How fantastic is that? And it's amazing that you love short women (I just got butterflies in my stomach writing that), because, well, as you read, I'm short. We have so much in common!  Also I'm tired a lot so I'm looking forward to riding on your shoulders. When I was little my dad used to let me do that, but no one has let me do it since. I can't think of anything more wonderful.... except yelling at you in the street and THEN riding on your shoulders. You are amazing for offering me your shoulders.

But I have to tell you, I  don't want to cook with you. You can cook for me. But I'm not doing any cooking - whether it's for me, for you, or with you.  No cooking will be done unless it's you cooking up epicurean delights for my pleasure.

Oh, and I'm sorry, but I won't be going to any restaurants with you. I just can't be seen with you.  Basically we can't be seen together in public.  Well there's one exception: when I'm on your shoulders. See I'll be high enough in the air that no one will recognize me. Basically, all of my rules are null and void if I'm on your shoulders.

Now re playing in the GYM, we could possibly do that, but only after it is closed (if you can swing some after hours passes that'd be great). Hide and go seek isn't a bad game. Usually I hide in my house (ie, I hide in my car and drive home) but now that I've given that away I'll have to think of a new spot (take the bus home?).

And finally, re exploring the sky, see that's really a solo experience. I've been sky diving before and it really isn't something you bond over.  So I think it'll just work better if you pay and then I go explore and tell you all about it.

So look forward to hear from you am seriously interested too!!!!

SORRY SCRABBLE AND THE MATCH GAME

I never know what to say. I always end up typing the wrong thing to the wrong girl but I just can’t help myself. I am confident enough to not care if it does not work out. I am drawn to your profile. You frighten me and turn me on at the same time. If that was the point then you did a good job, if not, then it’s just my overactive imagination. My profile might not stand out and I might seem a little boring at first but I do have an edge that only a few get to see. Somewhere in the middle you will find a kind hearted person who will always do the right thing even if it’s not to my benefit. In the end I know it will all be okay. I am the ultimate underdog.
Have a good night,
Todd

RE: SORRY SCRABBLE AND THE MATCH GAME

well, you did it.  you said the wrong thing.  don't ever tell a girl that something about her has "turned you on" before you've met.  it's totally weird.  imagine a person you don't know looking at pictures of you and getting turned on...  yuck.  and while i suppose i understand that your point was that it was my writing blah blah blah, but it was most definitely not my point and you certainly have an overactive imagination.

i'm glad that in the end it will all be okay, because you'll be going it alone dog.

WE MATCHED

We matched

RE: WE MATCHED

i don't really understand.  you say we matched, but really in the little list they have we only match in about 6 categories out of 20, and i don't really give them much credence.  i mean we both like coffee?  that's important in a relationship.  and we both like fish though neither of us have them.  that one's a deal breaker.  i mean c'mon.  that's already two out of the six....  we don't match.  we clash.  you like karaoke and are a certified hypnotist and i think you are probably certifiably crazy.  go.  just please go.

I'M

...a boy. And gainfully employed. I can't tell how well adjusted I am, but fairly I think. At the the least I meet 2 out of 3 requirements. That's a good start right?

Hi. I'm Mike. How are you?

RE: I'M

funny, you don't look like a boy.  you look like an old man.  so i'd say you're more like 1 out of 3.  so how am i?  well i'm 5'1", not 5'5" - 5'8", i smoke and i'm not trying to quit, and i want kids.  not a good start.  other than that i'm good.

VENICE MAN LOOKING FOR LOVE

Hello, my name is Eduardo, was looking thru your profile, was very interesting. I'm Latino, grew up in so cal. I work for the city of la. I live in Venice. I'm well traveled and love the outdoors, especially the mountains and beaches. I enjoy all types of food, enjoy fine cuisine but also local spots. Like concerts at the bowl and Greek. I would love to chat with, good day, Eduardo

RE: VENICE MAN LOOKING FOR LOVE

you already wrote to me.  you said "hi let's chat."  i didn't respond initially.  but i'll go back and respond to that one too.  i'm sorry.  we can't chat.  i don't fit into your profile parameters.  you're looking for a girl who makes $50,000 - $75,000 per year, and i make much more than that.

THE SATORIALIST

do you check in at thesatorialist?
its a favorite website and a daily
read.... and worth sharing.


noel.

RE: THE SATORIALIST

uh, what do you think?  i work in the fashion industry and don't know the sartorialist?  obviously you don't know it very well because you can't even spell it.  the SARTORIALIST.  see there's an "R" after the "SA."

that aside, you exhaust me.  i can't stand people like you who try so hard to be cool and "existential" that just end up sounding like pathetic fools.  "whip smart?"  see how far bragging gets you.  ick.  "conceptual artist, turned production designer, turned therapist?" right, because i want my analyst to be a former member of blue man group.  "i'm always attracted to people that have an aesthetic and a sense of style, and that 'know secret things?'" see this is the "too cool for school" part of you that grosses me out.  you're essentially saying you're better than the rest of us and attracted to the people who are better than the rest of us. so why don't you just leave this mundane dating site and go hang out in silverlake with your brethren where you can all talk about existentialism in a serious manner (not jokingly as i do in my profile) and stroke each other's intellectual egos to the point of satisfying the id.  (not the i.d., the "id" as in freud in case the reference went over your head.)

HI LETS CHAT

Hi.  Let's chat.

RE: HI LETS CHAT

i'm sorry.  we can't chat.  i don't fit into your profile parameters.  you're looking for a girl who makes $50,000 - $75,000 per year, and i make much more than that. 

POKER IN TOKYO?

cool profile!!your very cute and quite intriguing!..
i have been to asia but never tokyo..what made it so
spectacular for you?..i have a daughter but dont let
that deter you from me...can i send you another pic?...
you play free poker?

RE: POKER IN TOKYO?

ummm....  no.  no poker in tokyo.  we won't be traveling together.  or playing poker.  your daughter totally deters me from you.  i said quite clearly i don't want to go out with anyone who has children.  did you think that because you live in montebello and your favorite hot spots are a hot dog stand (pinks) and a mall (the grove) that you would win me over?  dude, your daughter is nine and she spends every other weekend with you.  and that's not going to make me think twice?  maybe you should think twice before writing to women who aren't interested in men with children.

HI HOW'S IT GOING?

Hi How's it going?

RE: HI HOW'S IT GOING?

you are obviously quite prolific. i was impressed with your simple yet profound use of words. i would be inclined to communicate with you further and take this to the next level. but then i saw your profile. and while it is once again profound and prolific, this is all you wrote:

ABOUT ME
Relationships: Never Married
Have kids: No
Want kids: Definitely
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
Body type: Athletic and toned
Height: 6'1" (185cms)
Religion: No Answer
Smoke: No Answer
Drink: Social Drinker
Hair: Bald
Eyes: Brown
Sports and exercise: Baseball, Basketball, Billiards / Pool, Football
Other types of exercise: Walking / Hiking,Weights / Machines
Exercise habits: Exercise 5 or more times per week
Interests: Cooking, Dining out, Exploring new areas, Hobbies and crafts, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Watching sports
Education: Some college
Occupation: Technical / Science / Computers / Engineering
Income: $100,001 to $150,000
Languages: English
Politics: Middle of the Road
Sign: Sagittarius
Pets I have: No Answer
Pets I like: Birds, Dogs

Is that all you can come up with?  No "About Me and Who I'm Looking For?"  No "For Fun?"  No "Favorite Hot Spots?"  No "Favorite Things?"  No "Last Read?"  No "My Pets?"  No "My Religion?"  No "My Education?" No "My Ethnicity?"

Sadly I just don't feel like I know you well enough to take it to that special level, the one where we forgo e-mails and go straight to coffee and dinner - which is sad because your e-mail really made me want to go there.

Well I hope you find that certain someone you're looking for....  With your wit and way with words i'm sure you will.

Best always.

HELLO I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS SYSTEM WORK, HOW C...

Hello, I don't know how this system work,
How can I have the chance to get a coffee
with you and talk, is my first time in online
dating and I'm kind of lost

RE: HELLO I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS SYSTEM WORK, HOW C...

I don't think there is a chance you can get coffee with me or talk. If you are so technologically incapable that you are lost and can't figure out how to use this site, well, then, we have very little in common. I don't date, let alone hang out with people who have IQ's below 78. Play your lane mister. Play your lane.

YOU LOOK LIKE...

... someone I need to get to know...
We will have a lot of fun
linguistically twisting and
tempting each other into submission...
Let's talk some more...
- Nathan

RE: YOU LOOK LIKE...

OK. So I'm not going to lie. Your e-mail totally creeped me out. "Linguistically twisting and tempting each other into submission?" Is there some sort of BDSM (bondage dominance submission sadism masochism) going on here? I mean your writing is basically one step removed from Pauline Reage... That's frightening.

What's more frightening is that your "ideal day" makes me want to puke - getting up early, cruising up the coast, grabbing breakfast someplace on the beach, spending a few hours in the sun, sand, and ocean, doing some wine tasting in the afternoon only to return home to cook dinner and consume some of the wine we just bought. Unfortunately getting up early made me cranky, i hated the drive (as i always hate to drive), the sand got in my hair, clothes, everywhere and i got sunburned, and tasting wine post sunburn gave me a searing headache meaning i didn't want to cook with you but i did just to be a good sport, but during dinner when i ran to the bathroom it was to throw up both breakfast and dinner because i had sun poisoning.

Thanks for the memories.

CURIOUS

Enjoyed reading about you and would love to hear more. I know it is hard to truly get a feel for what someone is like with typed words, so I am ok with chatting on the phone and seeing if we should meet. Being a woman on here, I do realize that you may want to write a few times to feel comfortable before you meet someone. I am fairly easy going and very down to earth. You seem to share those qualities in your words and thought we might possibly connect. Let me know what you think.

Christian

RE: CURIOUS

So you're a designer...? That's fabulous. But of business clothing? I didn't know there was a big market for unbranded business clothing. In fact I don't know many men (or women for that matter) who buy off label suits. I mean usually when it comes to work apparel one invests some real cash money. Out comes the black card and cha ching! goes the register. But hey, I deal with the Los Angeles market. Maybe you have other areas you sell to?

Really that's a small thing to address. More importantly, I don't even know why I'm writing to you. Your profile was so mundanely middle of the road I could have yawned and written it better.

You say you're "easy on the eyes." Yeah right, who isn't?

"Easy to talk to..." I doubt that since you can't write.

"Like down to earth girls who can dress up for a night out or wear sweats for a night in." Oh my god! How many times have I read that line? Is that what every man dreams of? Is that the best a man can come up with to describe his perfect mate? How completely pathetic! That's like saying "I hope you have a black dress and sweat pants because you'll need both to be my girlfriend." A girl wants you to say something like "I want someone who I have amazing chemistry with who could walk into a fancy ballroom wearing sweatpants and it wouldn't matter because I would still think she was the most beautiful girl in the room?" Oh Yeah. I forgot. That's too interesting for someone like you to write.

Then, out of the blue you throw out there that teachers and nurses are hot. That's creepy. I'd like to mention that I'm not a nurse or a teacher, nor do I have anything in common with either profession.

On to For Fun: "I like anything outdoors." Everybody on this site likes anything outdoors. Everybody likes everything to do with the outdoors. Is there anything to do with the outdoors that anybody on this site other than me doesn't like?

And finally you "enjoy watching TV, Dexter, Weeds.... the list goes on...." Now how sad is that that under your "Favorite Things" you list television shows. But predictable.

Really, your profile might as well be the cookie cutter mold that all men signing up for this site use. I've read it so many times it makes me nauseous.

What's worse is that you think we share some qualities. God I hope not.

Please steer clear of me and go dress the guy in Minnesota who wrote me last week. I'll give you his contact information. I'm sure he'd be the perfect client.

Best.